When I first started doing nofap I had no idea that the movement even existed. I only knew that something fundamental had to change in my life. I was sick and tired of suffering through life with the same problems always coming at me my entire life. The only thing that seemed to be changing in my life was the increasing magnitude and complexity of my problems. They were basically the same psychological issues that had plagued me as a child, teenager, young man and grown man into my forties.
The problems that I had been experiencing, though they were various and many, could all be summed up in one word: FEAR. I was being totally controlled by all my fears and I felt like a caged animal with nowhere to hide. I was drowning in so much fear that I considered stopping masturbating in a desperate attempt to at least control and change ONE thing in my behavioral patterns. Believe it or not, I was even afraid of not masturbating anymore as I thought that this was one habit in my life that, evidently, brought me some sort of good feeling, fleeting as it was. I soon learned how foolish I was to think that an orgasm could alleviate me of my character faults.
Once I started retaining my sexual energy (nofap), I realized early on that I had truly stumbled upon something miraculous. Really, shortly after stopping masturbating I suddenly felt clarity arriving to my constantly cluttered and chaotic mind. For the first time I felt like I could see my self clearly and make healthy decisions regarding the direction my life was heading without all the unnecessary second-guessing that usually accompanied such things.
Besides the mental lucidity, there was something so out of the ordinary growing inside my being… it was a new found sense of confidence. Not fapping anymore proved how I could be the master of myself and, instead of being controlled by my sexual urges, I was now in control of my bodily urges. My confidence grew from there not to mention the fact that my mind had been so long preoccupied with pleasing other people all the time that there had never been any space for this sense of self-confidence to bloom. And flourish it did!
Armed with clarity of thought and the ability to trust myself, I discovered that my fears were just that, “fears”, which I had created many years ago and subsequently reinforced through the ignorance of my own habits and behavior. So I set about confronting my fears as a means to show myself how much I had grown and to demonstrate the faith that I had in my inner-divinity.
With each fear defeated I grew stronger and bolder in my attempts to overcome as many fears as I could. I started small, like striking up chit chat with random people wherever I went, to bigger fears like showing family and friends who I really was without worrying about what they would think. This led to a revolution deep inside since I was now feeling so empowered by simply being myself that my self-confidence rose like a rocket in the sky. I knew there was no fear too big for me to tackle because I had seen how deftly I was handling the obstacles that were put before me.
So the seemingly small step of starting nofap has led to a series of life-changing events that have seen me leave a marriage in which I was not growing, leave a country I had lived in for 13 years and move to a place I had never been to before. All this while changing careers from something I was very good at to something I had never tried nor even imagined prior. All these huge changes began with nofap and have resulted in the step-by-step process of overcoming fears, both large and small, until arriving at a place where you know fear can no longer control your life.
Let the nofap path lead to your own personal liberation!